GoingSara

Went to the rather awesome new flea market at Candlestick Park with Ryan and Marcella yesterday. I found this:

According to The Bionic Wiki, who may or may not be the definitive voice on this topic, the plot of Elves’ Revolt is:

Steve discovers that Santa’s elves are in a labor dispute with their boss. Complaining of low wages and bad working condiions, they go on strike. Their “picket line” is literally formed by a terrorist elf named Ramat, whose scheme to bring Santa to the bargaining table involves melting the polar ice cap. Getting a report from the National Weather Service that the ice cap is melting at a rate of 1°/hour, Steve and Oscar rush to the North Pole to see if there’s anything they can do to reverse the process. If not, the majority the northern hemisphere will be covered in water by Christmas. However, they are soon captured by Ramat and can do little more than talk to their fellow captive, Santa Claus, about his union problems. In the end, the foreman of the elves comes to his senses and orders his men to stop Ramat. When they do so, they are able to diffuse all the heating elements Ramat had emplaced, and the two sides of the labor dispute reconcile.

My immediate responses:

1. I vaguely recall rewriting Christmas carols to include references to The Bionic Woman, so if I’d known this record existed in 1978, I would have jumped on it with both feet. In slow motion. While making ch-ch-ch-ch-ch noises.
2. I’m renaming my blog Terrorist Elf. At least in my mind.
3. Wow. This exists.
4. I know the 70s sucked, but were we really so ready to embrace Santa as Shitty Boss? Take this job and shove a candy cane in it.

I have downloaded an mp3 of the record, and will listen to it as soon as I stop being afraid.